The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
