"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have feelings that need drinking.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
