She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
