"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
