He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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