there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
