Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize