i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
