she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
