can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
