how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
