Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
