Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
