96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize