ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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