Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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