wrigley field is MILF paradise
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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