just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
