# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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