I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize