The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
