This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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