my mouth tastes like poor choices
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
