Cold hands, warm shart.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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