ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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