he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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