I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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