we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My day in three words: secret purse cake
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
