i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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