dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I believe in your delicious
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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