I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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