i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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