just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
