guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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