whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
