you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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