You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
