Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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