Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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