Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize