Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
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holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I DEMAND FORESKIN
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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