I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
