dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
