You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You made out with two different species that night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize