I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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