Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
