someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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