i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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