We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
