Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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