That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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