Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
