you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize