these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
