im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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