The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I met the friendliest cop last night
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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