DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
