Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize